


Captain’s Log: Alpha Centauri

by starspangledbread



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alpha Centauri (Good Omens), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Multi, Shenanigans, future setting, the enterprise crew visits Alpha Centauri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:43:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21561322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starspangledbread/pseuds/starspangledbread
Summary: The crew of the USS Enterprise take a stop on the sparsely populated Alpha Centauri planets, and meet some new people. Well, people shaped beings.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk & Spock, Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Spock
Comments: 4
Kudos: 97





	Captain’s Log: Alpha Centauri

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is sort of a crack fic, but I don’t think anyone’s done this yet so here you go!

_Captain’s Log, stardate 2269. We have stopped on our mission at the close to home, yet relatively unknown star system Alpha Centauri. We are hoping to refuel at the base and pick up an order placed by Mister Scott_.

Kirk finished recording, and leaned over to talk to Sulu.

“How much further, Mr. Sulu?”

The man in question checked his display.

“We will arrive in about three standard hours. Fuel is low, but we should have enough to get there and dock.”

“Thank you.”

He stood up, and walked over to the science station where Spock stood, deeply invested in a complicated chart.

“Mr. Spock. Anything we should know about the system before we send a landing party?”

Spock raised an eyebrow, displaying his mild irritation at being interrupted. He relaxed when he looked at the captain.

“Nothing in particular, Captain. There are no locals, just tourists and some settlers. No dominant race, small population on the larger planet. It’s very similar to earth, actually.”

“Thank you, Spock. Put together a landing party.”

Kirk spent the rest of the time reading some of the information on the system. There was something off about it, that he couldn’t quite place. He pulled up another data sheet, and began reading.

_Alpha Centauri is a binary system in a galaxy that closely neighbors the Milky Way. It is a popular tourist destination due to the colorful nebulae that adorn the sky in the planet’s summer season. This sparsely populated hub contains many local legends, the major of which is the belief that good luck comes to all who remain planetside on midsummer night._

Kirk continued reading, running across a few accounts of people visiting having odd encounters, and experiencing things they could only describe as miracles. One woman recounted how her son had suddenly been healed from intense radiation poisoning, and the doctors could offer no explanation. One person had been struggling with their career in music, only to suddenly find success on the mysterious planet. It was all very intriguing.

He was interrupted by Sulu informing him that they were within the planet’s gravity, and would be docking soon. Kirk tore himself away from the accounts, and focused his attention on the mission. He joined Spock and McCoy in the lift, as they went to disembark.

“So, anything interesting about this place?”

Bones asked as soon as they began their descent to the shuttle bay.

“Yes, actually. Supposedly this place brings good luck to anyone who visits.”

Spock raises an eyebrow, and Bones looked suspicious.

“I don’t believe in miraculous good luck. Must be a coincidence. But it’s always good to know about the local legends, I suppose.”

Kirk made a noise of assent. It was probably nothing unusual. If it was, it just meant a lot of paperwork for him later. And he was NOT a fan of paperwork. They boarded the shuttle, meeting up with two red shirted crew members who sat at the helm.

“Ensigns Jenkins and Tolpe, sir.”

The woman on the left gestured to herself and the person next to her. They both looked fairly young, and Kirk guessed that this was their first real planetside mission. Judging by the anxious expression on her partner’s face, he was right. But their hands were steady on the controls, and they seemed to be in control of the vessel. The woman- Jenkins- steered them out of the bay and towards the small space dock. It was a short trip, and as soon as they docked, the five members were greeted by a tinny sounding message.

_Hello, this is Alpha Centauri B space port. You are in section 45A. Please check in with the office upon disembarkment. Thank you._

Spock gathered his equipment, and Kirk took the order data chip from the consol. They exited the vessel, and emerged into a clean but mostly empty port. There were a few vessels here and there, and a few alien looking individuals conversing over coffee. Colorful advertisements  
sporadically dotted the sterile white walls. They were mostly for stores in the outdoor center, Kirk noticed as they walked.

“Jim, check this out.”

Bones gestured to a small ad across the hall from the station office. It was a faded poster, but in big letters read:

_A.Z. Fell’s Earth Books and Antiquities. Family run since 1800. relocated from Soho, London, Earth, in 2145. Open on weekdays._

Kirk whistles softly.

“We should go look at that after. That has to be one of the oldest businesses still open.”

“It would be quite interesting to see if they have any paper books. That would be rare indeed.”

Spock had his usual monotone voice and carefully blank expression, but Kirk could clearly see the curiosity etched on his face and in his posture. He made a mental note of the name, and as he went to turn around the office door opened.

“Captain Kirk, U.S.S. Enterprise?”

A short man in uniform had emerged from the office, and looked at the group expectantly.

“Yes, that’s me. Are you who I spoke with earlier?”

The man smiled.

“Yes, that’s me. Lieutenant Adams. I have your order of fuel and electricity clamps. I just need you to sign for them, in here please.”

The group filed into the office, which was very bare, except for a beautiful potted plant next to the computer.

Adams brought up the order, and Kirk gave his authorization. As he did so, his eye caught a glimpse of the shelf behind the plain desk. On it was a book. A real one. He finished signing and gestured.

“Is that authentic?”

The man beamed.

“Oh, yes! I got it from Fell’s store. It’s worth a visit if you have the time. He has a massive collection, and he gave this to me as a wedding gift.”

He gestured to a photograph propped up next to the book. It showed a slightly younger Adams and his blue skinned spouse.

“I don’t know how he managed it, but everything in that store is priceless. This copy of Pride and Prejudice is from before the war, if you can believe that.”

Kirk looked at the faded cover. That was truly impressive. Adams clapped his hands.

“Well! Thank you for stopping by. We will have your shipment ready by tonight. In the meantime, please feel free to walk around the market. My husband would recommend the outdoor park, it’s especially lovely this time of year.”

Kirk thanked the man, and the five of them filed out of the office and clustered in the white hallway.

“Do we all want to check out that shop?”

Bones asked, looking at the group. Ensign Tolpe spoke up.

“Actually, Jenkins and I were wondering if we could check out the nebula. Apparently you can see it really well right now.”

Kirk nodded, and the two of them walked off, talking excitedly. It was nice to see young officers so enthusiastic, Kirk mused.

“I would be interested in seeing this store, Captain.”

Spock said, re reading the ad. Bones nodded in agreement.

“It looks like a rare treat for us.”

Kirk nodded, and they started walking towards the outdoor area.

“I can’t believe it’s been that long. I mean, that was before mankind even made it to space. I bet there’s so much history in there.”

He mused, looking around at the other ads as they went. Most of them were for local food vendors.

They exited the port, and found themselves on a large lift that went down to the surface city below them. The ride was a few short minutes of companionable silence. It was broken when the doors slid open and the chatter of the city wafted in. The three of them stepped out. The locals spared them a glance, but it seemed as though Starfleet uniforms weren’t an uncommon sight. Kirk could smell food from somewhere, and it made his mouth water a little.

The city itself was beautiful. It reminded Kirk of old photos of Singapore, or one of the old cities on Earth. Local plants lined the well lit streets, which were paved with stone. The buildings were sleek and modern, but drew inspiration from old architecture. A spiral nebula was visible above the skyline, casting that purple light over everything. Alpha Centauri B was also shining just on the horizon. Bones drew in a breath.

“This is rather pretty, isn’t it?”

“Indeed.”

Spock agreed. They walked down the streets, past markets, outdoor parks, and other shops. Kirk gestured down a winding side street.

“I think this is where that collection was. Should we check it out?”

“Lead the way, Jim.”

They turned away from the more crowded main street, and found themselves on a route lined with vibrant glowing flowers.

“These plants are lovely. I wonder if anyone has to maintain them.”

Kirk mused. Bones examined one of the radiant leaves.

“Sulu would like this.”

A small building appeared at the end of the street as they rounded a corner. It was completely out of place among the other establishments. This looked as though it had appeared straight from the mid to late 1800’s (If Kirk had to take a guess) and hadn’t been renovated since. It was still in remarkable condition. Whoever owned it must have been very good at repairs. The sign above the door read A.Z. Fell & Co. Est. 1800. As if there had been any doubt which building was the old store. Spock looked at it with blatant interest. Kirk was the first to approach the door, which had a small open sign propped up in a corner of the window. He still felt the urge to knock, so he did before leading the way inside.

As soon as they stepped into the quiet store, the three of them were overcome by awe. Books were piled floor to ceiling in a haphazard way. Every single one of them looked hundreds of years old, and well cared for. There wasn’t a speck of dust in sight. Kirk looked at a title on a table next to the door, out of curiosity. It claimed to be a first edition of Shakespeare. He felt a little light headed. This was every literature enthusiast’s dream come true. There was music playing softly in the background, and Kirk paused to listen to the lyrics, but it was nothing he had ever heard before.

_I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things_   
_We can do the tango just for two_   
_I can serenade and gently play on your heart strings_   
_Be your Valentino just for you_

It seemed to be coming from a box-like device with a cone shaped speaker. Bones seemed to be having the same thoughts as him, as he hissed in his ear.

“Jim! That’s a damn record player!”

So it was. This whole shop was straight out of Earth’s history. It was a bit odd that it was here at all, but that wasn’t the trio’s main concern. Their main concern was the sudden appearance of someone from behind a stack of books. He was human, or at least human shaped. He had a shock of white hair framing his face, but he couldn’t have been much older than Kirk himself. He had a bright smile, and an outfit that was most definitely from the same era as the shop.

“Hello! I’m Mr. Fell. Can I help you?”

His voice was soft, and exuded a great amount of friendliness. Kirk gestured around.

“This is absolutely incredible! How have you managed to keep all of these in such good condition?”

“Oh, well-”

He was cut off by the sudden entrance of another figure. The new arrival was the polar opposite of the white clad shop owner in front of them. The shock of bright red hair was loose around the shoulders, framing a sleek, modern, and dark outfit. The figure sauntered in, struggling to balance a large potted plant and a stack of books.

“Angel! Ssorry I’m late-”

He stopped when he saw the trio.

“Oh, someone. Be back in a second.”

He put the plant down by the door, and disappeared into the back room with the stack of books. Angel. Kirk guessed that the red haired man either worked here, or lived here. Or both. Mr. Fell gestured back into the shop.

“Feel free to look around. Unfortunately the first editions are not for sale, but you may read or borrow anything you like. I’ll be in the back if you have any questions.”

“Thank you,”

Spock started, but Fell had already bustled off to follow the red haired man. Kirk shrugged as Spock raised an eyebrow. They followed the two of them into the back of the shop. A table, miraculously clear of books, had been set for tea. The redhead was sprawled on the end of the couch, eyeing the newcomers with slitted yellow eyes. Not human then, Kirk thought. Upon closer inspection, his eyes were completely yellow, and unblinking. Translucent red scales crept up the sides of his face, adding to his snake like appearance. Books were piled around the edges of the room. Mr. Fell indicated some comfortable looking chairs.

“Please, have a seat. It’s been a while since anyone from Starfleet has visited the shop. Help yourself to some tea!”

He waited until the three officers were seated, before taking up residence on a comfortable looking chair.

“I’m Crowley, by the way. I manage the arboretum and biodomes in town.”

The redhead spoke up, a forked tongue flickering between pointed teeth. Ah, so he must be the one who looked after the plants they had admired earlier.

“Nice to meet you.”

Kirk said. Fell flashed him a radiant smile and glanced at Crowley with plain adoration. He turned back to the trio.

“So, What brings you here?”

Kirk took a sip of the tea. It was delicious, and nothing he like had ever tasted before. Bones spoke up after sipping his own tea.

“We’re just here to pick up supplies, but we noticed an ad for the store and were intrigued. Is it really from earth before the war?”

Kirk interjected before Fell could reply.

“And how do you keep all of these in such pristine condition? These all look like first editions to me.”

Fell and Crowley exchanged a glance.

“Well, this shop was on earth from 1800 to about, oh, was it 2025?”

“2028, angel.”

“Thank you, my dear. We couldn’t bear to see another war tear apart the earth, or lose all of this history, so we came here. We knew it would be mostly uninhabited, so we, well, we set up shop and waited for everyone else to arrive.”

Kirk blinked. He exchanged a look with Spock, who raised an eyebrow.

“Are you implying… that you’ve been around as long as the shop has? And you were there before the first contact?”

Bones asked curiously. Fell looked sheepish.

“Much longer, actually.”

Crowley began to speak after Fell finished.

“We can tell them, Angel. It’ss not like before, remember?”

“Yes. Well. We’ve been around since the beginning. Neither of us are human, although we may be shaped that way some of the time. We’ve lived all of earth’s history, and then some. That is, until we came here.”

Kirk stared at them. Upon closer inspection, Fell didn’t look quite right either. His eyes were too blue, and he didn’t blink, staring directly through the body and to the soul underneath. Small veins of gold crept up his face, and onto his hands from under his sleeves.

“Sorry is this is rather rude, but what are you?”

Spock asked. Crowley let out a hissing laugh.

“Good question, isssn’t it, angel.”

“Oh stop it, my dear. We can tell them.”

Crowley sighed dramatically, fixing his yellow gaze on Kirk’s face. 

“I guess. Listen, we’ve been retired for a solid 250 years now. So, here’s the thing. Back in the day, if you will, earth was entirely populated with humans. And demons and angels walked among them. Tempting and blessing, respectively.”

“Hang on a second-”

Bones cut in, sounding incredulous. But Crowley cut him off by continuing. 

“Not any more, as much. After the war, most occult and ethereal beings returned to their respective dimensions. Bigger projects, you know. Humans exploring space, treaties, the whole deal. Suddenly, head offices had to figure out what to do about management of dimensional travelling, the mingling of species, all the fun stuff to do with space travel. Tried to get us to help them out, too. As if.”

Aziraphale jumped in as his partner finished speaking. 

“We most definitely quit. No more matters of Heaven or Hell for us. As soon as it became clear that people were about to venture out into the cosmos, we packed up and came here. There’s so much history that was lost in the fallout centuries ago. We did our best to preserve it.”

Kirk looked up to see that Spock had wandered off to inspect some of the paintings along the walls of the shop. The sheer amount of books was astounding. Some were nearly a millennium old, at this point. Bones was frowning at the beings across from them.

“So you’re saying that angels and demons are real?”

Aziraphale chuckled. 

“Of course, dear boy. I am a Principality, former Guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden.”

“Eden was real too??”

Crowley laughed. It sounded more like a hiss.

“You bet it was. We were both there, after all.”

“Are you an angel too, then?”

Kirk asked, trying to process the story he was hearing.

“Not since before time began, I’m afraid. Take another guess.”

Bones leaned forward, squinting at the redhead. His slitted yellow eyes met the gaze, unblinking. 

“No, that can’t be right.”

Kirk looked at his medical officer. 

“What?”

“Were you the snake? The whole tempting Eve with the apple thing, that was you?”

“Precisssely.”

Crowley hissed, sounding smug. 

“Fascinating.”

The vulcan had returned from studying the shop. 

“The science contradicts all those old stories from humanity’s religions. And yet, impossibly, you two are here.”

Aziraphale stood up, collecting the empty tea cups from the table. 

“Well, religious texts are just a compilation of stories in the end. But there is more than just some truth to them. Heaven and Hell exist, obviously. But a lot of what’s written is the result of translations and anecdotes.”

Kirk looked at them both, a question obviously growing on his face. 

“Yes?”

Crowley gestured.

“So, you’re a demon, and an angel. And you’re together?”

Aziraphale beamed.

“Yes, we are. Have been since Armageddon didn’t happen. Nearly 200 years now, actually.”

He smiled, and took the redhead’s hand. 

Kirk was smiling, but Bones looked incredulous.

“What do you mean, _Armageddon?”_


End file.
